The Wisdom of Your Emotions

An old acquaintance of mine liked to categorize people he knows as being “rational” or “emotional”, as if there are only two kinds of possibilities to be. Being “emotional”, in his understanding and experience of life, is a bad thing. On the other hand, to be “rational” is to be in control, coolheaded 007-like, and masterful in how you respond to heated situations. Is this really a helpful way to look at people? What happens when we think of ourselves and others as being either “this” or “that”?

: : : A Love-Hate Relationship : : :

Emotions can be scary. In fact, they are simply because of their ability to overwhelm us. All rationality is lost and that has its own grave consequences. An overwhelm of emotions can be a wonderful thing too. Don’t you want to feel an overwhelm of gratitude and ecstasy? What about an overwhelm of optimism and hope? Thus is the love-hate relationship we have with our emotions where we want only the “good” emotions and not the “bad” ones. In addition, we either play victim and give in to our emotions without any attempt to work with it, or we steel ourselves against the onslaught of our “bad" emotions and refuse to be touched by them.

: : : Staying Centered Through the Storm But Also Be the Storm : : :

Many of my clients have basic questions or challenges about why they feel certain things, and what to do with their emotions. Some people would like to get quickly rid themselves of their emotions: just rise above it! Then there are those who like to marinate themselves in their sentimental mood swings, albeit unconsciously. Again, the idea here is not to fall into the attraction-repulsion dynamic with your emotions. Rather, it is about experiencing the inner storm without resistance, trusting that you will survive, and realize over and over again that you are not the storm..

Mindfulness experts want to help us to regulate our emotions, which is definitely important. The two extreme reactions of hyper-rationality and hyper-emotionality can be brought to a “happy medium” when one has the knowledge, confidence, and experience of how to regulate one’s emotions. What I would like to point out, however, is that all emotions are “good” if you are wiling to feel them, as well as stay with it long enough until it subsides naturally.

: : : The Importance of Embodiment and Choosing Your Thoughts : : :

For example, say you are feeling like crap after what you thought was a poor presentation at an important client meeting. The “feeling like crap” feeling can be received as something to get rid of, or it can be welcomed as a message from your self. The road of avoidance leads us to distract ourselves from our feelings by watching the news, talking to a friend about something completely unrelated, or eating or drinking something to help us elevate our mood. Seeing our emotions as a message to be welcomed means you first allow yourself to feel and express your emotions as fully as possible. This is because by feeling and expressing your emotions, you will be better able to receive its message and bring the insight into your body. Anything that is grasped only intellectually will fall short. Feelings and emotions bring ourselves back into our body which is where an insight need to be anchored.

In the example of feeling bad after a disappointing meeting with a client, one can decide to allow, feel, and express that crappy feeling, which would then naturally lend itself to an eminently more stable psychological center that one can reside in so the work of calm reflection can begin. There, you can become aware that perhaps a part of your self-worth is still dependent on the outside world, be it your hopes for career success, or how your loved ones view you, or something else. These unvarnished observations can then become the springboard from which you may launch your search for a healthier perspective and thinking-feeling that is more sane.

Behind every emotion is a thought that is paired with the emotion: they reinforce each other. For example, the “feeling bad” might be supported by the thought “I am crap.” Discovering the thought that is associated with the feeling-emotion of the moment is a key step in the process of discerning the wisdom of your emotions. Based on the discovery made, you come to a critical juncture at which your act of will may be exercised. Choosing which thought of yours to value is an essential practice for (re)shaping your reality.

: : : The Wisdom of Your Emotions: A Brief Conclusion : : :

The wisdom of your emotions plays an essential role as such by giving you the opportunity to dispel the dark fog that is obscuring the truth of your inner light. Practices for regulating our emotions are great. Being emotionally intelligent in order to improve your performance at work or in your relationships are also beneficial. The wisdom of your emotions, however, can take you further. It can help you reframe and reconstruct the lens through which you look at yourself and the world, which ultimately leads to more freedom and harmony within and without.

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Article Summary

Your emotions reveal the wisdom that is dormant within you when you allow yourself to fully feel and express. These are wisdoms about self-worth, love, power, identity, and more, which must be felt in the body and not just understood intellectually.

Emotion-Wisdom Pairing

Anger-Power

Sadness-Wholeness

Fear-Peace

Seriousness-Joy

Shame-Forgiveness

Guilt-Truth-Authenticity

Hopelessness-Trust-Faith

Hatred-Love

This article was originally written in February 2023. It has been revised in March 2026.