The Journey as Friendship

We often hear “the journey is more important than the destination", but a lot of us have difficulty valuing the journey above all else, at least not consistently.

How can the journey through anything, be it the journey of learning a language, a song on the piano, or closing a business deal, be made more enjoyable and less frustrating?

The idea that friendship is like a journey came to me one morning. If I asked you, “what has or have been the friendship(s) you’ve enjoyed the most?”, you probably would think of ones where you simply enjoyed each other’s ideas, jokes, and personal qualities without thinking about what you would want from that person. In fact, I’d guess that in relationships (of all types) where you were obsessed about getting to a specific outcome, it was probably much less enjoyable. It might have been love and adoration you were seeking, or acknowledgement and validation. Worse, maybe you were only interested in that person’s status, wealth, or looks as a way to enhance your own sense of self-worth and feed your personal ambitions. Perhaps the work required to manipulate this relationship caused you to act in ways that were out of alignment with who you are, and you knew it.

Either way, this kind of nearsightedness or obstinacy can take a lot of “grind” that one is left with the impression that stress, fatigue, and a sense of desperation are the truer inner reality despite the “accomplishments” made. On the other hand, it is just as exasperating and disappointing if you actually do not get to your destination after all this “work”.

So how can you live any situation in life, or approach any goal you have, by placing the emphasis on the journey rather than the destination? My answer is to treat the journey as you would a friend. Enjoy her personal qualities, including her flaws, and give as well as receive according to the call of each moment.

Illustration credits: Yan Nascimbene