What happens when you go on a retreat that is held by someone who has a profound intention to support the unfoldment of your potential as a human being?
I am talking about, for example, your potential to access and make use of the vast and yet untapped inner resources which can help you to courageously face conflict, defeat, or confusion. I am talking, among other things, your potential to love with an open heart because you’ve rediscovered your trust in life and something onto which you can moor your boat when the sea of life gets rough. Does this sound appealing to you?
A few weeks ago, I was at Richard Verboomen’s retreat at the Now1 Institute of Integral Coaching (link) in Durbuy Belgium for which the theme was opening one’s heart, choosing love, and letting go of fear by meditating on the seven directions. A combination of personal, interpersonal, transpersonal, mental, emotional, physical, meditative, sound, and energy work were done.
In this article, I would like to share aspects of what I experienced with you in such a way that you may consider group work as well as the importance of sound and movement in your own personal development work.
First, it is true that inner work, as the foundation for personal development, is often done in the private space of your own life and home. This is important because of the demands of work, family, and other things make it so that the moment to do inner work different for each person. In other words, you are the orchestrator of your own inner work because you are most familiar with your needs and availability. However, when undertaken in a group setting, inner work can be accelerated and help you surmount inner obstacles that stand fast in your way. This comes down to the skillfulness of the group facilitator, his most profound and salient intentions, as well as the inner work the facilitator has already done for himself. One can hardly lead a group into wilderness if he himself has not already explored the land. After all, there are always dangers and challenges which cannot be anticipated.
That said, I have observed over the years, and strikingly in the retreats I’ve attended at Richard’s, that the healing work of one person often triggers the opening and healing of another person, because we all share the same emotional wounds which are caused by our need to survive on the psychological level. The presence of the group serve the important role of witnessing that which unfolds from one person’s suffering and loss, and in fact creates a cocoon for the healing to take place. Yes, the presence of other people, even when its just in the background, often facilitate our healing more effectively than what we can achieve on our own. Being witnessed and held in energetic embrace and resonance is powerful and can only be understood through experience. If you have not experienced the power of group work led by a skillful facilitator, then it is something to consider if you want to go farther and deeper into your own healing and life journey.
Secondly, the work we did at Richard’s retreat was doubly powerful because of his overt permission and conscious use of sound and movement as spontaneous expressions that anyone at any moment may give life to. I’ve experienced and used such modalities as discrete and separate tools in my training and work, but not as integral elements of a retreat.
So the fun really begins as we answer the following questions not through our rational minds, but simply and directly express them: who are you when you are not restricting yourself to the social proprieties that are commonly accepted? Who are you when you allow yourself to be rude or bad? What facial expressions do you make? What words do you speak? What sounds do you make? How do you move your body?
I remember people in the retreat howling, cursing, making “strange” body movements, as well as crying, shouting, and laughing uncontrollably. Given the example of others who “courageously” express themselves as they like, however inappropriate, we implicitly feel that it is OK for us to do the same. Often, we learn what is not OK to do, or say, or even be based on not just what our parents and teachers tell us, but based on how they behave themselves. It is very liberating to be able to express the feelings and thoughts you have spontaneously through sound and movement, even if many of which would be judged as “weird” or “abnormal” in the typical social milieu.
When you find yourself in the midst of such unpredictable and powerful mixture which is the group’s non-rational emotional and physical expressions, there can be a certain amount of inner reservation, tension, or judgment. However, this is precisely the moment to work with, and work through, these inner dynamics that we all know too well. Acceptance, surrender, and compassion towards oneself are the gifts of this process as you learn to navigate the part of you that overthinks and judges. Crucially, the groundedness and stability of the facilitator is the key difference maker in holding a safe and non-judgmental space. Without it, the game of ego can resume in the blink of an eye.
In brief, spontaneous and unbridled sound and movement within a psychologically safe and anchored process, specifically in a group setting, allow for the release of physical and psychological tension, and it facilitates the resurfacing of emotions that want to be dealt with. One therefore has better possibilities to access the gift of life in the form of vital energetic force flowing through one’s body. For this particular retreat, for example, I’ve observed that I have been unusually grounded regarding certain challenging matters in my life; I also feel more powerful and humble in how I deal with those who sometimes succeed at pushing my buttons.
Well, there is definitely more I want to share about what happened at Richard’s retreat and how it relates to personal development, and I look forward to doing that another time. Meanwhile, it is also my intention to let you know that Richard is running a 5 day in-person retreat coming up on October 30th in Durbuy. For those who are curious, have a look at his retreat page here: https://www.now1.info/N/ouverture-coeur-dire-oui-a-lamour/. Note: while the retreat will be run in French, English speakers are welcome as efforts will be made to provide a minimum French to English interpretation.
Until next time !
H.D. Lee
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