Stories from Your Unconscious

: : : Projective Dreamwork Series : : :

- - Love's Paradox - -

What happens if a past love suddenly shows up and tells you that she (or he) is finally ready and available? Would you be ready to “jump right in”?

In a recent projective dreamwork circle, this was precisely the dream that came to Mr. Z. In this nocturnal storyline, the dreamer found himself on the second floor of what seemed to be a Victorian house. The walls and floors are all made of wood. Suddenly, Mr. Z’s childhood love shows up and tells him that she is now available. Having pursued this girl and been consistently rejected by her over a period of several years, Mr. Z is in shock that his unrequited love may finally be answered. Seeing Mr. Z’s hesitant attitude, this woman suggests that they simply cuddle. Inevitably, Mr. Z’s mind goes into overdrive and begins to turn every which way: Is this real? Do I still have feelings for her? Should I even tell my girlfriend that I’m considering this person’s proposition?

In exploring this dream, we touched on juicy questions such as “do I chase the ideal version of love, or do I work with what I have right now, which I already know isn’t perfect?”, and “do I risk tainting my remembrance of a past ideal of love by allowing it to come into the present? Once the past is allowed to move into the present, it may no longer be perfect.”

While not everyone in the circle shared their inner thoughts on the above questions, we were all definitely marinated in it. I, in particular, flashed back to a past situation in my life where the circumstance of Mr. Z’s dream actually happened. There were some differences in the storyline to be sure, but the center of gravity in his dream drew me back to that moment when I was face to face with a woman that I had dreamt of being with for about a quarter of my life. I was only about 22 years old at the time, but I really felt this person was the epitome of perfection. Granted I am using hyperbole, but that’s really how I felt; she was everything I had dreamt of. Now, this woman was finally available after being in a relationship for what seemed like an eternity, and she appeared to be open to explore something, at least friendship, with me. Inexplicably, I turned away from this woman and ran with my tail between my legs. Notwithstanding the shock and confusion of my own reaction, I was simply not ready for this dream to possibly come true. I preferred that it stayed out of reach.

How interesting that such a simple storyline from a dream can arouse such painful and poignant memories and questions: “would I be ready to step over the threshold if a dream I’d been chasing or let go of suddenly showed up?” What is the psychology behind our desire and resistance towards realizing the dreams we have? Can you, the reader, feel the richness of the discussion that may follow with these two questions as prompts?

Dreams will often bring us face to face with the unresolved and undigested situations of the past. It will ask us, with a straight face, “Do you really know what you want this time? Are you sure you are ready for it?”

Namaste,

Dean

p.s. I run projective dreamwork circles on a regular basis; they are online as well as in-person. Projective dreamwork is about coming together with others to draw from the wisdom of your individual (nightly) dreams. For more information, you can visit this page on my website: https://www.iamhdlee.com/offering/projective-dreamwork